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  • Top 5 Edited Chuck Norris Ass Kicking Scenes

    Top 5 Edited Chuck Norris Ass Kicking Scenes

    March 24, 2010, 10:16 am
    Periodically my husband and I find things pinned to our door by our nieces who live down the hall from us. The objects they pin up range in content from holiday decorations to 10 year old marker drawings, but some of my favourite are from what appears to be a Chuck Norris day to day tear off calendar with meditative Chuck Norris thoughts or concepts. Some of them have migrated to our fridge for the permanent collection. My personal favourite: "Before Chuck Norris was born, there were no rainbows."



    Criteria:
    -Do I really even need to explain this one?
    Top 5 Edited Chuck Norris Ass Kicking Scenes
    5. Invasion USA (1985)

    This one replaces "Forced Vengeance" as number 5. "Forced Vengeance" has more hand-to-hand ass kicking, but it was painful to watch from an editing perspective. This movie, on the other hand, was almost poetic at times. The chase scene after the mall attack so perfectly embodied montage theory that I felt like I was dancing. However, it’s at number 5 because the climax fight at the end was just plane lame. You have no idea how disappointed I was when we finally get to that scene and it’s obvious that the director must’ve given the editors a really hard time about keeping certain shots in, even though they didn’t fit. Oh well. I’ll get over it as long as I remember that Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
    Top 5 Edited Chuck Norris Ass Kicking Scenes
    4. The Octagon (1979)

    The first thing I noticed about the climax fight scene at the end in the octagon, was that there was little to no variation in angle between cuts. Now, there’s nothing wrong with this, and in fact the timing was good and the cuts were different enough that it wasn’t at all jarring, but I found it really interesting that it was almost always cutting back and forth between medium and wide shots from the same angle. The downside of the scene was that the sword fighting was over-choreographed in such a way that it looked deliberate. The upside: Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
    Top 5 Edited Chuck Norris Ass Kicking Scenes
    3. Sidekicks (1992)

    Goofy in a good way, this film puts all of Chuck’s previous characters into one film. I’ll focus on the sparring match near the end for the purposes of this article. The cutting was smooth and helped bring out the fun in the usually very stone-faced and serious Chuck Norris (Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants). There was also a very effective use of a spinning-camera-attached-to-character shot and a painful looking boot to the head.
    Top 5 Edited Chuck Norris Ass Kicking Scenes
    2. Lone Wolf McQuade (1982)

    This was my favourite of the Chuck Norris as the main character movies. The editing is spot on and the fight between Chuck and David Carradine is really fun to watch (is it just me or does Carradine move like a snake? I say that in the most awestruck of ways). It’s especially fun because within the span of the scene, gasoline is continuously poured on Chuck’s anger flame by a series of extremely dramatic events (daughter gets smacked down, love interest dramatically gets killed... etc). The scene is filled with nice cuts and it flows extremely well considering everything that’s happening. If Carradine only knew one important fact, then he would’ve avoided the fight altogether: Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups, he pushes the world.
    Top 5 Edited Chuck Norris Ass Kicking Scenes
    1. Return of the Dragon (1973)

    All right, I know what you’re going to say. "That isn’t a Chuck Norris film! And he doesn’t kick ass in this scene!" To which my reply is "I didn’t specify that HE was doing the ass kicking. And even if he isn’t the main character, how can you argue with him versus Bruce Lee?" As sad as it is that he gets beaten here, the fight is awesome, and it’s intercut with symbology rather than other characters dying or some other less interesting storyline. The kitten represents Bruce Lee, his cat-like moves, and his youthful approach to an ancient art. The setting represents Chuck Norris, who would’ve been a kick ass gladiator in Rome with no problems. They are worthy opponents, but for all of Bruce Lee’s speed and skill in the fight, he will always lack that mysticism that Norris carries. For Chuck Norris has counted to infinity ...twice.

    For more fun "facts" about Chuck Norris, either find the calendar that my nieces keep posting days from on my door, or go to where I got some of these ones from: www.chucknorrisfacts.com

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  • Other Postings By Member
    • Light Sabre Battles! (v)
      EDITING

      Light Sabre Battles! (v)

      January 18, 2012, 3:00 pm
      As an interesting note, it was conveniently blocked by FOX just as the internet is on blackout strike today in solidarity against SOPA. American friends, please be aware that if SOPA passes, videos like this where I attempt to teach about film editing in a fun way will not be available anymore, even if I am in compliance with the Fair Use clause— in fact, I could be shut down, fined, and/or jailed without due process. If you like the internet and the ability to find information freely and easily, please educate yourself about this bill, and do whatever you can to stop it from passing!

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    • Top 5 Marx Brothers Films
      EDITING

      Top 5 Marx Brothers Films

      January 4, 2012, 1:19 pm
      First EDL of the new year up! Marx brothers, see? nyaah!

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    • Top 5 Moment of Despair Scenes in a Xmas film (v)
      EDITING

      Top 5 Moment of Despair Scenes in a Xmas film (v)

      December 14, 2011, 4:44 pm
      Have a video version of my very first Christmas blog, the best edited Moments of Despair in a Christmas film!

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    • Top 5 Scenes With a Steam Engine
      EDITING

      Top 5 Scenes With a Steam Engine

      November 30, 2011, 11:29 am
      Check out this week's EDL, featuring the top 5 edited scenes with steam engines!

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    • Top 5 Edited Dinosaur Attack Scenes!
      EDITING

      Top 5 Edited Dinosaur Attack Scenes!

      November 16, 2011, 1:28 pm
      I know I've covered this one in the past, but with the new video format I feel like I can really do some of previous written blogs justice. This one especially!

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    • Top 5 Scenes on a Mountaintop
      EDITING

      Top 5 Scenes on a Mountaintop

      November 3, 2011, 1:54 pm
      Vlog number 3! Scenes on a mountain. See my epic climbing skills (not)...

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    • Top five scenes in a Mad Max film!
      EDITING

      Top five scenes in a Mad Max film!

      October 19, 2011, 1:19 pm
      In Vlog number 2 of the Edit Decision List, I look at the best edited scenes in a Mad Max Movie, as well as manage to completely butcher an Australian accent.

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    • Top 5 Edited Die Hard Scenes
      EDITING

      Top 5 Edited Die Hard Scenes

      October 5, 2011, 12:07 pm
      My very first vlog covers the top 5 scenes in a Die Hard movie!

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    • Top 5 edited scenes in Metropolis
      EDITING

      Top 5 edited scenes in Metropolis

      September 21, 2011, 4:25 pm
      Metropolis is one of the most influential science fiction films of all time, and it's obvious that the editing has a lot to do with it. The expressive nature of the acting is superbly juxtaposed with epically framed shots in such a way that story isn't only easy to follow, but really fun to watch!

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    • Top 5 Back to the Future Scenes
      EDITING

      Top 5 Back to the Future Scenes

      September 7, 2011, 12:16 pm
      Great scott! I must've blown a hole in the space-time continuum with my 1.21 "Jiggawatt" blog entry…

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